Writing, Shipbuilding, and Fibromyalgia

Until now I've pretty much been employed as a white collar worker - public school teacher, hospital teacher, curriculum specialist, and writer. The most physical things I did was lift boxes and desks when I moved classrooms and at Laureate I didn't even do that because that was housekeeping job's to do. Now, however, I'm moving into a new phase of my life as a blue-collar worker.

As a welder, shop assistant, seamstress, sail maker, and steel worker (a little bit of one), most of my activities involve moving some part of my body, particularly my hands. And unfortunatly, unlike Doug and Carl I do not have a clear sense of body in space (as the physical therapists call it). Which means at times I have no idea of how to coordinate my body with my brain. I don't know where my feet are in reference to their environment. I am terrible at positioning my self when welding, cutting, holding on, lifting, etc. (there's lots in that etc.).

However, while frustrating at times, the positive aspects of physical labor is that when my pain level is high, I still have lots I can do. Sewing seams does not take a lot of brain power. Nor does sorting sockets, bolts, tools, and other clutter around the shop. And I think straight line, flat welding or plasma cutting doesn't take a lot of thought, though it does take attention to detail. And I think I can handle that job at a level 2 without having taken narcotics (probably not a good thing to use tools that create as much light and heat as the sun, in much smaller amounts, of course.)

So on the days I can't write or weld, I can clean and organize. My life hasn't diminished, which is one fear that people with chronic pain often face. In fact, building a boat has enriched it. I now do things that challenge me, yet provide a sense of satisfaction because there is concrete end product. I can watch my welding get better or faster.

Today, my pain level is at a persistent 2 after lots of sleep and valerian. We'll see how the rest of the day goes. And even if my pain level increases to a 3, I still can be a productive person. That sounds rather Stalinistic but it is accurate. :)

In September a new study was released via the journal Brain. The researchers write that fibromyalgia patients often report memory and attention problems in addition to pain, stiffness and sleep disturbance. What they wanted to determine, though, if fibrofibromyalgia patients' memory and attention problems have any correllation with changes in the morphology (structure and shape) of the brain.

The researchers conclude that the study's results provide clear evidence of memory and attention problems in fibromyalgia as well as the correlation of both pain and neurocognitive problems with brain structure.

"Our data suggest that, in addition to chronic pain, [fibromyalgia] patients suffer from neurocognitive deficits that correlate with local brain morphology in the frontal lobe and anterior cingulate gyrus, which may be interpreted to indicate structural correlates of pain-cognition interaction."

Bottom line, chronic pain changes not only your cognitive skills it is also correlated to a change in the structure of your brain.

Even when I was a kid, I liked thinking of myself as smart. So to be faced with the fact that my brain, the actual grey matter stuff, has been changed and that change goes with a lessening of my "smartness" level saddens me. I feel like part of me has slipped away, and I wasn't even aware of it.

Having a plan helps me to manage my pain on a daily basis. Often when I would know that I was getting ready to go through a downturn on the cycle, I would become anxious and depressed. So my husband and I came up this one:

Level 1 - Little to no pain. No interference in physical or cognitive skills. No needs for meds. Usually I need 9 hours of solid sleep to maintain a level 1.

Level 2 - Rise in pain often first noticed as the ache in my upper left arm and shoulder. I begin to twitch and stretch my left shoulder - that a big tip-off to my level of discomfort. This starts to happen when I become tired, didn't have enough sleep or haven't be active enough. I can still perform my routine physical and cognitive tasks. I also usually don't feel anxious at this step. My med regime is often valerian with passion flower or ibuprofen. Now is a good time to do extra yoga or walking.

Level 3 - All over pain - in my left shoulder, neck, back of head, between my eyes, behind left or right ear, sharp quick pains in extremities. Cognitive functioning decreases - memory, problem-solving - and so do physical abilities - coordination, balance, fine motor skills. The medications necessary to alleviate the pain at this level add to the mental and physical abilities - Flexeril and Lortab. Both make me drowsy and fuzzy-thinking. At this stage I stop using power tools (not a good idea to handle tools that spin at 6,000 rpm)

Level 4 - High level of pain. Time to take some meds and zone out for a day or two to recuperate. I can do simple tasks like housecleaning, laundry - puttering stuff. I usually can't read at this level but I can listen to audio books.